Posts Tagged ‘newspaper’

holy molys’ unhappy with dappy

The hallowed online gossip mailout has me in tucks today. Ill say no more as unfortunately i know peeps who know these peeps, not alot to say though once you’ve read the story and the taglines under all 9 pictures….

my birthday & booze

jen likes a beer

Today as i celebrate well over quarter of a century on this planet, in this form (cosmic), i find myself chuckling at the above picture. My Dad had this on his wall for years when i was a teenager, long before drinking was part of my job (yes kids, the perks of drum n bass are insane….). However me thinks the artistic prediction stops a little too short….. (more…)

No substitute for teenage mums….

Im reading the Sun whilst the Shifters are comping my vocals. As usual im scouring the paper for all the smaller stories filling the gaps on the more jumbled pages. Some classics as always, i think today this is my favourite.

‘Devons Torbay Care trust are on blast after giving out six inch plastic willies to teenage mums, they were handed out as gifts during a sex education workshop. Kevin Neal, father of 15 year old mum Kezzi, said ‘We consider this extremely offensive’
Would they rather their daughters were given the real thing, isn’t that what got them in that ‘Chlamydia discussion group‘ in the first place?
I find it extremely offensive that i work my ass off everyday, have used contraception and common sense since becoming sexually active and yet i will never be given a free dildo or get a tax break for not having a child before i was mentally or financially capable?
I say free six inch plastic willies for all girls, from the age of 11 in inner city areas, masturbation is liberation from a benefit state!

Breathe in, aaaaaaaaa. Calm!