vampires, homebrew & expensive condoms

TM10 Base  DirtyPhonics

Twas my first time in Romania last weekend alongside Kabuki for the TM10 Base Festival in Timisoara, met some great people, extremely kind and a lot of fun thanks to all that got us over there for the show :)

Now Im not trying to be ignorant at all (i was made to choose between history & geography in high school and saw myself as a historian rather than a traveller back then) but until looking in the back of the inflight magazine on my way to Romania i actually had no idea where i was going. In fact to sound completely ignorant the most i knew about this distance and quite romantic sounding land of Romania was that Dracula had once lived there…if you believe all you read or see in Hollywood epics you’ll also find the grounds of Highgate, Hampstead and Whitby quite hallowed however here i was en route to Transylvania…ok ok i know stupid it was Timisoara and i knew this shallow teenage vampire fantasy of mine was based on tired media steroetypes and so i was on my best behaviour on leaving the airplane and tried my very best not see Dracula references EVERYWHERE…..

Shouts to the ever lovely Valentin who was my liason for the evening, picking me up from the airport, driving me to and from the venue etc. He was there to meet me promptly from the plane and as we exited the building and walked through the very low hanging fog/eerie mist i talked excitedly about what to expect this evening and mentioned nothing about the perfect horror flick weather conditions….

Driving away from the airport the road became very narrow, it was night time and without much street light the cars beams lit up the arched bare and  blackend autumn trees bending crookedly towards the road. Drum and Bass softly blaring from the speakers i took in the buildings slowly creeping towards us, nothing scary at all here looks quite normal lets just get away from these trees yeah?

The one thing that struck me whilst driving through the centre was how old some of the buildings were, how huge and old with huge manly square blaconies on the corner buildings, there was also alot of churches big small, ornate, plain, white, brick, old new…a lot of churches. I remember in the day time how colourful the old buildings seemed, we were in a square near to where i attempted to have lunch and all the roofs and walls were painted in blues, yellow, reds the graffiti in bold newer splashes against this old world palette. I wish i could have taken a picture but i was fighting the urge to add to the colorful display through the medium of projectile vomit and then die of an insane hangover and embarrassment!

Back to the night time – we eventually pull into a side street next to a building with huge fake stain glass windows and very low light coming from within. Stepping out the car i again notice the tendancy of the trees to arch very dramatically over narrow roads here the low hanging fog adding to their petrified charm! We walked to the front of the building where my host pointed out the GraveStone shop across the road, i chuckled again nothing scary here just coicidental right i mean theres a lot of funeral service parlours across the road from Norman Bates vibes hotels no biggie.

Moving on from the corner of the building i again smugly congratulated myself for not making a vampire joke, it was in this state of smuggnes that i was confronted with the entrance sign to the hotel a chalk board with white SQUIGGLE HORROR FONT WRITING! Oh come on! Who does that except on halloween? I mean there couldnt have been a better wlecome to this Hammer Horror inspired hotel, it was lovely dont get me wrong but it just screamed ‘i wanna be in a horror film!’

To say genius is an understatement to say the hotel was as old as it was supposed to look would be also however i was instantly enchanted with the spooky house vibe backed by a terrible 80′s disco soundtrack coming from the wedding in the hotel bar and i was kinda disapointed when Tim Curry wasnt there to greet me in the very slim mirrored lift that took me to my boudoir!

And oh what a boudoir it was big enough to swing a very large cat like a tiger, if it was sedated and you were that strong…in fact no it was big enough (without furniture) to pick up enough speed to be able to swing it regardless how strong you were…any how the bathroom was bigger than mine at home and featured a huge CORNER BATH! A feature i found very exciting having only had access to a shower in my flat in Berlin this past month, unfortunately i had 45 minutes to get changed, to the venue and on stage so it was out of the question but i did manage a drunken dip after the gig twas bliss indeed.

A well deserved dip indeed especially after such a fun night at TM10 i had to try somehow to sweat the alcohol out of me before my 2 plane trips home, in particular the homebrew Plum concoction given to Stamina at the gig by Mc Tinas crew. That stuff is lethal i suggest taking it in short sharp sips, instead of the DirtyPhonics method which is pour it down your throat til it burns and you nearly choke!! Oh what fun we had, looking forward to round 2 in Manchester next month fellas :) Also looking forward to playing again with Kabuki in Japan in December, his sets are  killing me right now and really inspiring me to freestyle more than i have in a while over dnb, those gigs are gonna be interesting for sure!

At the end of the night, once we’d all exchanged emails, numbers and made plans to do it again, once the do not disturb sign was on on the handle in the hall and the alarm was set i went back into the bathroom to dive into the ever awesome corner bath. I had forgotten all about the Vampires and thankfully saved myself 20 Euros.

expensive condoms

Now that is romantic, i luv ya Romania cant wait to come back again :)

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